The Goodness of God to Accomplish His Purposes

It's past 10 p.m. on a Wednesday night, and I'm still in my office. I just put my head down for a moment to pray, and after a minute a tear rolled slowly and unexpectedly down my nose till it dropped to the floor. This isn't what you think.

The tear falling off my nose marked the moment where the final puzzle piece snaps into place, the moment where you can step back and see the beautiful picture -- someone else's design -- pieced together in all its glory. I wouldn't call it a tear of joy. It feels different. It feels deep. It pangs of humility. It rolls in love.

I don't know if I can explain, but allow me to try. There's a deep, deep feeling, to the pit of your soul, really, when you realize that Someone is looking down at you. When you realize that the Creator is peering down upon the very thing he created as it serves the purpose for which it was created. The feeling overwhelms all other senses, so it's hard to just call it joy. It almost feels more like panic. ("God, really? You would choose ME to do this work for you? Are you sure you didn't mean to assign this to someone else? Someone more capable? Someone less sinful? Someone older? Someone wiser?") But it's not panic because the deepness is coated in calm -- the still, abiding, calming assurance of a Loving Savior, a Wonderful Father who does not hesitate to shower his sons and daughters with good and perfect gifts from above.

It amazes me, absolutely amazes me, that God chooses to use every one of us in a particular way to accomplish his purposes. I had already been meditating on Proverbs this week: "Many are the plans in a man's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (19:21) Then, today, it hit me: the Lord's purpose is happening in my life right now. I am living it. It's all coming together: the journalism in college, the international interest, the affinity for Asian culture, the law school "detour," the immigration interest, the verse that God gave me two years ago when I sought out what he wanted me to do with this legal career he led me into (James 1:27 "True religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."). As I bowed my head to thank God for a great day of meeting with my first asylum client, a high-profile AIDS activist from China and feisty grandmother figure you can't help but love, it struck me -- the sudden collide of all these things. An Asian, a 82-year-old widower, who has dedicated her entire life to serving orphans wrongly afflicted with a deadly disease, is now depending on me to write the story that will save her life. The rushing weight of responsibility collides with the excitement of getting to do God's work, yet tempered by the gravity of what it all means. Oh, the humility that sinks me down. And oh, the grace that lifts me up.

Thanks be to God for how he uses us, his people, to accomplishes his purposes. (Eph. 2:10; Isa. 46:8-11) I don't know of any greater high than to be perfectly placed in the dead center of his will for your life. It's a rush that surpasses any other feat you might attempt on your own. Trust His Word when it says that his ways are higher, his purposes greater, his plans beyond our meager imagination.

And then hold on for the ride of your life. You won't see the twists & turns coming round the bend, and half the time you'll be holding your breath and wondering "what's next?", but when you reach the top and can see it all layed out before you, then you'll be amazed.

That's the moment when you can expect the tear to fall, slowly, unexpectedly ... beautifully.